I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
