Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I could make wine with my vomit
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
