So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
