He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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