Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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