I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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