She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
