so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Randomize
