But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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