She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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