you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
