Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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