Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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