My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
