Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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