I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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