I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize