just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
