At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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