No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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