kristin has been a bad kristin
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
