i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
