i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
