My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
