I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
