I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
