why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
