do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
