I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
