I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
