The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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