am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
