i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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