Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
that's an acceptable place to lick
time to smoke my breakfast
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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