I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize