I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize