On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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