So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I can't put those talents on a resume
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
