I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
