just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
