next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He felt like a one man threesome
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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