My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
