it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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