I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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