Sry I called you an 8
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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