Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
