He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
