god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
