Duck Duck Cougar?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
