So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
