So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
