So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
