Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
