I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize