You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
