i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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