I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
