Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do vagina's smell?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
