weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
