Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
